Text conversation between my foster friend and I. We had just finished making plans to meet for dinner and a movie.
Me: "I look like ass so make sure not to cutesy up too much!"
Foster Friend: "No promises."
Me: "I hate you."
FF: "You should. I look really cute. Sorry. You have a man, I don't."
Me: "What do you think the odds are that you'll find one in a dark movie theater with you ass-looking, chlorine-stinking friend?" (have I mentioned I work at a pool store?)
FF: "You like it when I get all prettied up for you. Makes you feel special."
Me: "That's true."
"On a COMPLETELY unrelated note, did you know there's something called vajazzling? As far as I can tell it's like bedazzling for your vajayjay. I'm scared."
FF: "Eww! Why would you want to?"
Me: "I'm not sure but it worries me a bit."
The next day, we had the following, also entirely inappropriate, conversation:
Me: "I was people watching and thought, 'wow, she's really beautiful in an off-beat sort of way' and then I realized she was a dude."
FF: "I have a friend who's gay and has some friends who are crossdressers. I'm never really sure when I meet his friends whether they're girls or guys."
Me: "Oh, no, this guy was dressed as a guy, he just had beautiful, smooth skin and kind of a round, feminine face. He was really pretty."
FF: "Oh, I figured he was dressed like a girl. I always wonder which bathroom you'd use at that point. Like, if you're a guy dressed as a girl, do you use the bathroom for the sex you're dressed like, or the bathroom for the sex you actually are?"
Me: "I guess it depends on what you need to do. Like, if you need to use the urinal, you probably ought to use the men's room. But if you're going to sit down, anyway, I guess it really wouldn't matter."
FF: "I would think you'd just use the ladies' room either way. I mean, you could always sit down and just tuck it between your legs."
Yeah, she really said that. I love that we can talk about anything. It worries me a bit that we do!
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