Dear Neighbor,

Seeing as how your dog is an inside dog and rarely comes out unless you are outside with her, could you please keep her dog food inside? I am aware that it stinks and can sympathize with the fact that you do not want it in your home, but it is for that same reason that I do not want my dogs to have access to that swill. It's no wonder Wolfey has gained weight recently! I feed my dogs a healthy, wholesome diet and it displeases me greatly when they drag your dog's stinky junk food into my clean home. I would be equally satisfied with your mending your fence such that my far from small forty pound dog isn't able to walk through the holes and into your yard, therefore gaining access to your dog's stench. It is quite frustrating when I drag my dogs out of your yard, shut the gate behind me and turn around to find that they have walked right back in through the hole next to the gate. I am aware that I could keep my dogs on a leash at all times, but considering that this has never been an issue before and there are dogs running all over our neighborhood, I do not think it fair to punish my dogs for your laziness.
Sincerely,
Karen