Naked blogging: It Works

I've been debating for a long time whether to share this information, because I didn't want to admit that I had doubts about the products I've been using and selling, but I've come to the realization that a LOT of people have doubts about the products I've been selling, and sharing my story can only help.  This is hard to admit and even harder to put into writing, but I truly hope that sharing my doubts and worries can help someone out there to overcome their own.

I've been using It Works! products for a couple of months now.  I start my day with Thermofit (a natural metabolism booster) and Greens (to detoxify, alkalize and balance the body in addition to providing 8 servings of fruits and vegetables), take Fat Fighters (which bond with fat and carbs you consume to flush them out of your system) as needed if I cheat on my healthy eating or eat something to which I am allergic (my allergies aren't bad enough to prevent me from eating the things I like, but I have found that the Fat Fighters help flush the icky stuff out of my system before it gives me too much trouble) and end my day with New You (so many benefits I won't list them all here, but I will say it helps me sleep better!) and It's Vital (a multivitamin).  I felt a lot better, had more energy and less affects from my allergies but just didn't really feel like I was getting anywhere weight or inches loss wise, and I have to admit, I was getting pretty discouraged.  My wedding dress was tight and uncomfortable, my clothes weren't fitting any better and I didn't feel like I looked any better.  In the weeks leading up to the wedding, I had just about given up.  Between the I'm-too-busy-to-make-dinner-so-let's-just-go-out-to-eat and the I'm-too-stressed-out-to-curb-my-emotional-eating I just knew I was gaining weight.  Thankfully, my dress had a corset back, so I knew if I packed on a couple pounds I would be more uncomfortable, but still able to wear the dress.  I wrapped four times (a complete treatment) in the week and a half leading up to the wedding and still didn't feel like I was seeing any results but I just couldn't worry about it at that point.  Miss Thing, overhearing BBS and I talking about my frustration and anxiety over how the dress would fit, told me she thought I looked like I'd lost weight, but I just wasn't seeing it.  I felt awful about myself.  And then the big day arrived.  I don't think anyone else knew, but I was on pins and needles all day long.  Not because I was nervous about marrying Man, but because I was worried my dress wouldn't fit!  I hadn't had it on in about two weeks and I was just sure I was going to end up busting a seam and getting married in my sweats!  As I stepped into my dress, I worried that I wouldn't be able to get it up over my huge hips.  But it easily pulled up.  As I held the dress up I fretted that Mom wouldn't be able to snap the modesty panel in place.  But, despite her having to dig out her reading glasses to see the tiny closure, it clipped easily into place.  Then, as Mom laced the corset back, I agonized over whether she would have enough lacing to close up the whole back.  But there was lacing to spare and the dress fit better than ever.

All my worrying was for nothing.  I should have trusted my body instead of my mirror.  Despite eating junk, not getting enough sleep and running around like a crazy woman, I felt and still do feel) better than I have in years.  Looking at the pictures, I see now that I look better than I have in years.  I think we all have these images of ourselves in our minds, where we will never look as good to ourselves as we do to other people.  When Miss Thing mentioned that she thought I looked like I'd lost weight, we discussed that sometimes other people see the weight loss or body changes before you do because they don't see you every day, but I really think a lot of it has to do with how you look at yourself, too.  When I looked in the mirror I saw the crazy, stressed out nearing-bridezilla woman that I was at the time.  Now, looking at pictures, I'm able to see the happy, healthy, in love woman that I am.  And I am so thankful for my It Works! products that helped me survive that crazy time and will continue to help me become the most healthy version of me I can be!

What I Like: Flowers, flowers everywhere!

First, a little thing I don't like: What I Like Wednesday is quickly becoming What I Like Thursday due to my inability to get a post to publish when I schedule it.  So...either no more writing ahead of time or I need to change the name of this series!  As always, I'm open to input.

Now on to the meat and potatoes (um...petals and stems?) of this one!  I'm doubling up on this post, because I actually got my flowers for the wedding from two different sources and I don't want to leave anyone (who earned a place here!) out, but I also don't want to have the wedding posts drag on forever after the wedding!  (which is this Saturday!  Eeek!)  I figured I didn't want to get too far ahead with wedding stuff, because you never know how things are going to go until you've actually received the product or experienced the service, but these two are done or nearly done and so great I just can't not brag on them!

I contacted Janice at Heirlooms and Blossoms about doing my flowers, because I wanted a mix of fresh and silk flowers and she's the only person I know of that does both.  I always planned on having all fresh flowers at my wedding, but when Man and I sat down to talk about it, we decided that between the girls being rough on things (fresh flowers probably not looking very nice by the time they finally walked down the aisle) and the fact that the girls would want to keep their flowers (we figured it would be an issue if our youngest got to keep her flower girl basket but the older two didn't have anything to keep) that we should really do silk for them.  Then we decided if the younger girls had silk, the older girls should too.  And it snowballed from there.  Wouldn't have dreamed it, but we decided to go with all silk.  I met with Janice a total of three times (once to describe what I wanted, once to see what she was working on and give her the go ahead to finish them and once to do a final review and pick up the finished product) and each time I got more excited about our decision.  Janice did an amazing job and just rolled with every change I made.  And I made a lot!  At our first meeting I said I still wanted fresh flowers for my bouquet but silk for everyone else.  At our second meeting I both added and deleted people on the list who needed flowers, changed my flowers to silk and asked her to add on flower girl baskets and decorations for the arch under which we will be married.  I don't think I made any changes at the third meeting (thankfully!) but I did go over everything with a fine toothed comb.  And it's perfect!  The flowers are amazing and somehow all look real, everything is beautiful and Janice was such a sweetheart.  The whole experience was really great.

The only problem with doing silk flowers is that we needed fresh flower petals for our flower girls to scatter (it's a requirement of the hall, since it's an outside wedding and they don't want to have to chase down a million silk flower petals!  I totally get their logic on that one!).  This wouldn't be a problem, except generally when you do flower petals you use roses since they have nice, big petals and dark purple roses aren't exactly easy to come by.  I know that Kroger has the largest florist in the nation, so they were the first place I tried and they were so super helpful it was ridiculous.  I called the Harrison location, since they're the biggest one close to us and not only were they super nice, they really went the extra mile.  When they couldn't get what I wanted from their normal distributor they called around to other places and not only got me the flowers I wanted but got them at a discount!  One dozen roses for $9.99?  Yes, please!  Today they called to confirm my order and my pickup time and as we were about to get off the phone, the lady said, "While I have you, would you like us to pull the petals off for you or did you want them on the stem?" to which I replied, "You mean I can not only get what I want at a great price but you'll save me the work?"  She laughed and said, "Sure, you've got enough to do!"  I love it!  I know a lot of people think of Kroger as a big box store and don't expect to get very good service, but they prove that wrong time and time again, and they are quickly making me a customer for life!

Awesome experiences, awesome stuff, it's going to be an awesome day!  I can't wait for Saturday!

Almost married

While watching a wedding show (I think most brides are obsessed with these.  Man keeps hoping it will pass after the wedding!) I look at Man and tell him if he mashes the cake in my face like that couple just did I will be PISSED!  Without missing a beat, he looks at me totally deadpan and says, "yeah, but by then it will be too late."  Such a smart aleck, but so much fun.  I'm very lucky to love my silly man!

Hungry, hungry hippos, er, umm, something funnier. I just don't have it today.

Wolfey is about the most impatient animal you've ever met.  When he needs outside he follows me around and whines until I open the door.  When he decides it's time to come inside, he stands at the back door and barks (not constantly, just every couple of seconds like he's rushing you along) until someone lets him in.  When he's hungry he grumbles (he seriously sounds like a grumpy old man) the whole time I'm making his food.  Man frequently tells Wolfey what a jerk he is being when he does these things and while I don't like the name calling, it's pretty much true, so I let it go.  Since we started giving Brady wet food he's started doing the same thing, though he meows instead of grumbles (by the way, we found THE BEST cat food).  Brady's food just has to be dumped into a bowl, but since it's refrigerated we have to let it warm up a bit, so even though his is the first I get out at feeding times, he is the last to be fed and he does NOT like having to wait!

As I was preparing the animals' food they both started in.  Man told Wolfey what a jerk he was being and I told Brady what a pain he was being and all the while Lolly was sitting patiently and the following ensued:

Man: "Good thing at least one of them is patient!"

Me: "There's no need for her to get worked up, she knows she'll eventually get some food."

Man: "Who would have guessed that out of the three, Lolly would ever be the good one?"

Me: "I meant she knows if we don't feed her she'll just go counter surfing!"

Man worked a half day today so he could go pick the girls up after school.  On their way back home we video chatted to say hi and let me know their plan for the evening, since I don't get off work until 8:00 tonight.  Man asked me if I had to do anything after work or if I would be straight home and our little one interrupted him, pointed at the camera and said in her best diva voice, "you better be home for cuddle time!"  I love the technology that allows us to communicate so easily and have those little moments, but even more, I love that the girls want me there and can't wait to get home and have even more special times!

Oh, and I spent the morning putting the finishing touches on several wedding things and now I've got subjects for several more "What I Like" posts.  This may not wait until Wednesday!

You'd think 3 weeks would be enough time to recover from having the girls for 3 weeks.

It's not.

And in two short days we'll have them again.  I miss them like crazy and can't wait to have their smiling faces and laughing voices filling the house again, but I also can't believe how these last three weeks flew by so quickly.  I'm still not back to myself after the weeks of our little one waking me in the middle of the night to help her potty, fighting with our oldest over makeup, clothes (did I ever mention that she has the immodesty of a toddler.  10-year-old body hanging out all over the place is NOT okay with me!) and anything else she could challenge me on and Wolfey and our middle child breaking my heart but I'm getting there.  I have high hopes that I will be back to blogging daily here shortly, but in the mean time I'm taking my New You to help me sleep better and my greens for energy and just plugging away!

M.I.A.

Ironically, when we have the girls and I have tons of silly/funny/interesting stories, I'm also too sleep deprived and brain dead to write.  I promise I'll be back to normal soon.

In the mean time, I did want to mention that one month from today, I'll walk down the aisle to my love, my future, the rest of my life.  I am truly a lucky woman.

I truly have the best Man in the entire world

I haven't gotten a good night's sleep in about 2 weeks.  That is in part just my weird body not letting me sleep well, in part due to not sleeping soundly because I'm listening for the girls and in part because the girls actually have needed me during the night.  Last night, Man and I got in to it a bit, only because he's worried about me and I'm bull headed.  He was suggesting different methods for me to get more sleep tonight (taking a sleeping pill, going to bed immediately after dinner and letting him take care of the evening craziness of getting the girls through the bath and the animals fed, etc.) and I was getting mad at him for trying to tell me what to do.  Sounds about right.  After all, I was still pretty grumptastic.  So, long story short, we fell asleep with Man feeling defeated and me more than a little irritated with him.  And then I overslept.  I was supposed to be at work at 9:30 this morning and woke up at 9:50.  And I have a 45 minute drive.  I have no clue how I managed to sleep that late (I never sleep past 8:00) but I woke to the sound of the girls giggling in their room, rolled over to see how early they'd woken up and jumped out of bed.  Man never said a word about him being right about me needing sleep, but jumped out of bed and asked what he could do to help.  He filled my water bottles, packed my lunch and fed the animals.  He ushered the girls out of my way so I could fly through the house like a tornado getting ready.  He kissed me goodbye and saw me out the door without saying a single "I told you so."  And let's be honest, he would have been totally justified in saying that.  Then, on his way to his appointment (to which he was late, by the way, because of helping me get ready), he called just to make sure I had made it to work and was okay.  I've said it before and I'll say it again: I am SO lucky to love such an amazing Man!

It's better to be pissed off than pissed on

Living in a small three bedroom house where one bedroom is used as an office for Man, we have three girls stuffed into one bedroom like sardines.  Okay, it's not quite that bad since it's a big bedroom, but it's still tight quarters with three girls, three beds, three wardrobes, you get the point.  Consequently, bunk beds are a must.  For some reason, our youngest insists on being on the top bunk and although some may question the merits of putting a 6 year old on the top bunk, it's worked out pretty well.  Until this week.  Sunday night, just as Man and I were getting into bed, we heard our youngest giggling.  We thought she was having a dream (she frequently talks in her sleep) and didn't think much of it, but she just kept going, getting louder and louder until we were worried she would wake her sisters.  Finally Man went in to quiet her down and she told him she'd wet the bed.  We're still not sure why she laughed when she woke up in a wet bed but I talked to her the next day and she told me the reason she peed the bed was because she was afraid she wouldn't be able to make it down the ladder from her bed.  We talked about better ways to handle it and agreed that from then on she would call for me if she had to potty during the night and I would help her down from her bed.  It sounded like a great idea until she started calling for me every night.  I haven't slept through the night since Sunday night and last night, for some reason, between the two of us, I was up 3 times during the night for restroom breaks.  Don't get me wrong, I'd much rather go running to get her out of bed than have to change her sheets in the middle of the night, but I could really use a good night's sleep.

I'm one of those people who really needs my sleep.  I can go a couple nights with less sleep, but the longer I go, the grumpier I get.  Today, I'm pretty grumptastic.  I was at the point of saying she couldn't sleep in the top bunk any more when my foster friend had a brilliant idea.  She suggested we get our youngest a touch light to mount at the top of the ladder, so when she wakes up she can hit the light and climb down on her own.  I'm not sure why I didn't think of it on my own, but it's genius.  I plan to pick one up tonight and stick it up there before bed time, and I'm really hoping to get to sleep through the night tonight!

Naked blogging: That's my gift

Tomorrow is my first of two bridal showers.  I have to admit, I've kind of been dreading them.  It's not that I don't appreciate them, in fact I've thrown lots of showers and not only do I know how much work it is (and really, really appreciate the fact that BBS is helping with both my showers!) but I also know how much fun they can be.  It's just that I'm not one to love the spotlight, despite my singing, dancing and acting background.  I was always part of the group on stage, not one to stand out.  These two days are going to be all about me.  I'll be in the hot seat, and even more than that, everyone is showing up to give me presents.  I just got off the phone with an old friend who was heading to shop for our shower gift.  She wanted to know if there was something special on our registry that I was super excited to receive.  I didn't register for stuff I don't want.  In fact, it was really hard to make a list of all the stuff I wanted instead of just buying it.  After all, it's for me, why shouldn't I buy it for myself?  How weird is it that I got so incredibly lucky as to find the love of my life and we get to share that with all our loved ones and have this huge celebration, and they all have to give us something?  If anything, we should be giving gifts to our family and friends for helping us along this journey that led us to each other.  As the dates approach, I find myself becoming excited about my showers, but it's not because I'll get to sit around and open presents; it's because I'll have the opportunity to gush about Man all day long without anyone telling me how silly-in-love I am!  I found this amazing man, I fell madly in love and I get to share it with the world.  That's my gift.

Naked blogging: I choose to be engaged today

I don't wear my engagement ring all the time.  I know so many people who do, but somehow I'm always afraid something will happen to it when I'm cleaning, doing dishes and rough housing with the kids or the dogs.  I take it off as soon as I get home and don't put it back on until I'm ready to leave the next morning.  The other day, as I ran back into the bathroom to grab it out of my little jewelry dish I said, "I choose to be engaged today."  Man was brushing his teeth at the time and gave me a look as if I'd hurt his feelings.  I didn't understand why it upset him but Man explained that he took that as me having the option to not be engaged. To me, it's the process of making a conscious decision each day to put my all into our relationship and now that I've explained that, he actually likes that I say my little daily mantra.  I truly believe you have to remind yourself daily why you love your significant other.  Some days it's easy; other days you really struggle to remember.   I read an article today about "happily-ever-after" versus "reality-ever-after" that said it so much better than I could ever hope to:

"Being married isn’t one decision. Being married is deciding to stay married every single day. It’s hard. It’s boring. It’s not terribly cinematic."

It's hard to admit that it's not all roses and puppy dogs, especially when we're not even married yet.  No one likes to expose their flaws.  But it's important to talk about those things and to remember, we're not alone on those down days.  Everyone goes through it, and it's the healthy, successful relationships that come out the other side.  I hope I can remember this and continue my mantra now and forever.  I am so lucky to have found the Man of my dreams, and today and forever, I choose to be with him.

It's a wonderful life

Remember when I said I have some really awesome family?  Well, I really do.  In fact, I have more examples.

Sunday I was completely wiped out after work.  Man called and asked me to stop at the grocery store on my way home to pick up a few last minute things for dinner.  I got home and he had things almost completely ready and was just waiting on my few items...which, of course, I got wrong.  Instead of getting frustrated that he put so much work into something I screwed up, Man totally rolled with it and made my mistakes work.  And we had an amazing dinner!  It was really awesome to come home to yummy smells and happy faces around the table!

Monday Man tromped through pastures, ducked into corn fields, climbed a semi and sat on farm equipment all in the sweltering heat so I could have the engagement shoot I've always wanted down at Dad's farm.  Yes, we did get engaged  in January, and yes we did just get our engagement pictures done in July, but time kind of got away from us, deal with it.  Additionally, an old friend from high school gave up an evening with her family and joined us in that sweltering heat at 7 months pregnant to take the pictures for us!

Wednesday BBS and I took 9 kids from 4 different families to the zoo.  We had BBS's 2 little ones (the 3 older ones are on vacation with our parents), Man's 3, the 3 kids BBS babysits and BBS's niece, ranging in age from 10 months to 11 years.  We sweat, we got rained on, we had an awesome time.  We fully acknowledge that we're crazy for taking so many kids, especially with only 2 adults, but there's no one else I would have rathered do it with!

Life may not be perfect, but I'm not sure how it could get much better!

Potty mouths

Yes, I really mean poop talk.  If you're not amused by poop humor, maybe skip this one.  You've been warned.  Also, potty mouth language, just a heads up.

Last night, as Man and I were preparing for bed we were talking about our days and trying to figure out why we both had such bad headaches.  Headache talk always leads to analysing what I've eaten over the course of the past day or two, because usually I can track my aches and pains back to eating an allergen and last night was no different.  Man started with my intake yesterday and eventually got back to the three ears of corn on the cob I'd eaten at our 4th of July cookout.  Yes, I know better, but come on, it's corn on the cob on the 4th of July and you just can't pass that up!  So as we're talking food intake and he mentioned the corn, I burst out with "so that's why I shit my brains out today!" and we both moaned at my over sharing but then laughed uncontrollably, with Man commenting on how inappropriate I am and inquiring as to whether I was going to discuss texture and color.  I pretended I was disgusted, so Man launched into a description of his "frothy" poo, saying he had a crappuccino and we again dissolved into fits of laughter.

It's true that we're gross.  It's true that we overshare.  It's true that we're horribly inappropriate.  But it's also true that we really enjoy each other and can have more fun brushing our teeth together than I could have with some past boyfriends actually going out and doing some fun activity together.  I really am so lucky to love someone who loves me not only for my good, appropriate side, but also for the silly, dirty, inappropriate, craziness that is me!

I have some really awesome family

Two of my cousins came out to the house yesterday to work on our AC unit, which has been peeing all over our basement floor.  Correction: my cousin's husband and my other cousin's boyfriend came out.  They're not even technically family, but they still do these awesome things.  Turns out the drain line was damaged so they repaired it and updated it so Man and I can do maintenance on it ourselves.

Another cousin (who is also, legally, not a cousin, but is my aunt's ex-husband's son and chooses to stick around our family, because that's just how great we are!) is coming out next week to work on some plumbing issues we have and install our new dishwasher.

BBS has been busting her hump preparing things for my bridal showers.  Yes, showers.  As in, plural.  And BBS is taking the lead on both of them.  She has recruited an aunt or two from each side of the family and they've been working like mad women to ensure I have not one (my wedding), not two (my shower) but three (my second shower) special days.

BBS and hubby threw a 4th of July party yesterday and not only invited Man and I (who were the only ones there who were kidless, since our girls are with their mom) but waited dinner on us (since I had to work) and then raved about the strawberry pretzel salad Man made in which the jello refused to set up, so it was more like strawberry pretzel mush.  We had a great time and although the kids struggled with waiting until dark to set off the fireworks, we still got to see some of the prettiest ones!

For the past several weeks, Man has dealt with a grumpy, sleep deprived, over-worked-and-under-paid, confused and weepy Karen and taken it all in stride.

I've really been struggling lately with trying to find a balance between work, home, wedding planning and starting my It Works! business, but with such an awesome family, I know it will all work out.  I am so lucky to love so many amazing people!

And this is why I love you

Text conversation between Man and I:

Me: "We keep saying we're going to put that wine in the fridge and then not thinking about it when we're home to do it.  You're home and I'm thinking about it.  Just saying."

Man: "Ok.  It's in the refrigerator."

Me: "And this is why I love you :)"

Man: "That's why?"

Me: "Because you humor me and don't question my ridiculous logic, all the while spoiling me by enabling me to drink on a work night?  Umm...yeah."

Me: "That and the millions of other reasons why you're amazing!"

Man: "If you say so."

Yep, he's all that and modest, too!

I've become one of those women

It was purely unintentional. I just realized it. And I think I'm going crazy. I've lived on my own for so long I've learned to take care of just about anything around the house on my own. Yet somehow when Man moved in and started helping with things I became I've if those helpless women who relies on her man to take care of her. The biggest problem, though is not that it's not me, but that it's causing fights between us. I can admit I've spent a good portion of the past weeks (since Man started his new job and is helping around the house less) irritated with him. But there's no reason to be! Man said he'd install the new under sink trash system we bought (it's one I'd those ones that slides out for easy access) weeks ago but it's been sitting in the garage ever since. Yesterday Lolly got into the trash and Man and I both ended up irritated, though for different reasons. Man was upset with Lolly for getting into the trash while I was upset with Man, because the whole mess could have been avoided if Man had installed that darn trash system. But today it hit me: why am I upset with Man when I could have installed it just as easily? Yes, Man said he'd do it and should have done what he said he was going to do, but it's my house too and it's about time I start acting like it. I'm so lucky to love a Man who puts up with me getting irritated with him and lets me come to these realizations on my own instead of beating me over the head with them! For the record, I installed the new trash system this morning.

The butt of every joke

Man: "Your damn dog is licking himself again."

Me: "He's anxious!  That's how he expresses himself."

Man: "He's like an alcoholic, but with licking his crotch."

Me: "Is there such a thing as crotch lickers anonymous?"

Warning: Grumpy Karen ahead

I'm having a day.  I promise Happy Karen will be back tomorrow, but today you're getting Grumpy Karen.  Deal with it.  I'm tired, I'm working someone else's store and it's dirty and unorganized and I'm tired.  Or did I say that one already?  I'm not sure, I'm tired.  In the past 12 days I've had 1 day off (the vast majority of which I spent on the road to visit The Girl and at a meeting for The Arc) and worked 83 hours, not counting the 10+ hours I will have worked by the end of the day today and the 12ish hours I'll work tomorrow.  Oh, and I'm working all weekend.  So please forgive me if I'm a little tired.  And grumpy.

So here it is: I just can't understand how some people can be so incredibly stupid and still have the confidence to speak.  I don't know how many times today I just wanted to throttle someone just for opening their mouth.  Thankfully I'm a professional, and I maintained what my employees call my "customer voice" but on the inside I was screaming "SHUT UP!!!"  I am beyond ready for this day to be over so I can go home, get a hug from Man and crash.  Who's going to bring me a beer?!

Happy Father's Day

The girls and I woke up early (or earlier than Man, anyway!) and made blackberry, raspberry and blueberry crisp, as well as bacon and eggs.  Man woke up just as things were wrapping up and we had an awesome breakfast together as a family before I had to leave for work.  There's absolutely nothing like spoiling your man with homemade breakfast and spoiling the kids with dessert for breakfast!  Bonus: the girls thought they were getting some awesome treat, when really it was a sneaky way to get some different fruits into them!  On the way to work, I stopped by my parents' house and surprised my dad with a second berry crisp.  I'm so lucky to have such amazing fathers in my life!  Thank you both, and Happy Father's Day!

I would be remiss not to mention that there are undoubtedly some guys out there who would love to be celebrating Father's Day with their little someone specials but are unable.  Whatever the reason you are childless or without your child, know that you are not alone.  Happy Father's Day, Happy Not-a-Father's Day, or just happy day.  I celebrate with you, I grieve with you and, perhaps most importantly, I understand.

Damn dogs

And this morning Man woke me up around 5am to tell me one of the dogs had just thrown up. I put them outside (and if course couldn't put them on the tie out since Man mowed yesterday and forgot to hook it back up) and got to cleaning. Since I had to wait for the dogs to come back anyway I changed over the laundry. The dogs finally came back but I couldn't get back to sleep. Man says they're conspiring against me but I think they're just trying to help new use my time in a more productive way. It could be the lack of sleep talking.