I have some really awesome family

Two of my cousins came out to the house yesterday to work on our AC unit, which has been peeing all over our basement floor.  Correction: my cousin's husband and my other cousin's boyfriend came out.  They're not even technically family, but they still do these awesome things.  Turns out the drain line was damaged so they repaired it and updated it so Man and I can do maintenance on it ourselves.

Another cousin (who is also, legally, not a cousin, but is my aunt's ex-husband's son and chooses to stick around our family, because that's just how great we are!) is coming out next week to work on some plumbing issues we have and install our new dishwasher.

BBS has been busting her hump preparing things for my bridal showers.  Yes, showers.  As in, plural.  And BBS is taking the lead on both of them.  She has recruited an aunt or two from each side of the family and they've been working like mad women to ensure I have not one (my wedding), not two (my shower) but three (my second shower) special days.

BBS and hubby threw a 4th of July party yesterday and not only invited Man and I (who were the only ones there who were kidless, since our girls are with their mom) but waited dinner on us (since I had to work) and then raved about the strawberry pretzel salad Man made in which the jello refused to set up, so it was more like strawberry pretzel mush.  We had a great time and although the kids struggled with waiting until dark to set off the fireworks, we still got to see some of the prettiest ones!

For the past several weeks, Man has dealt with a grumpy, sleep deprived, over-worked-and-under-paid, confused and weepy Karen and taken it all in stride.

I've really been struggling lately with trying to find a balance between work, home, wedding planning and starting my It Works! business, but with such an awesome family, I know it will all work out.  I am so lucky to love so many amazing people!

Happy Father's Day

The girls and I woke up early (or earlier than Man, anyway!) and made blackberry, raspberry and blueberry crisp, as well as bacon and eggs.  Man woke up just as things were wrapping up and we had an awesome breakfast together as a family before I had to leave for work.  There's absolutely nothing like spoiling your man with homemade breakfast and spoiling the kids with dessert for breakfast!  Bonus: the girls thought they were getting some awesome treat, when really it was a sneaky way to get some different fruits into them!  On the way to work, I stopped by my parents' house and surprised my dad with a second berry crisp.  I'm so lucky to have such amazing fathers in my life!  Thank you both, and Happy Father's Day!

I would be remiss not to mention that there are undoubtedly some guys out there who would love to be celebrating Father's Day with their little someone specials but are unable.  Whatever the reason you are childless or without your child, know that you are not alone.  Happy Father's Day, Happy Not-a-Father's Day, or just happy day.  I celebrate with you, I grieve with you and, perhaps most importantly, I understand.

Naked blogging, first edition

I recently learned about naked blogging.  We all use our blogs as a sort of online, public journal, but so rarely do we really speak from the heart.  Most of my blog is about silly things the kids or the dogs did or funny quips between Man and I.  I use my blog to express myself, inform others about things I find important and hopefully entertain along the way.  Now I would like to also use my blog to help others see that just because you may seem "normal" (okay, we all know I'm not normal, but I can put on the "normal" hat from time to time!) on the outside doesn't mean you don't have a lot going on on the inside.  I hope to make this a regular thing and invite you to join in.  Whether you write your own blog post and leave a link in comments, just leave a quick comment or email me directly (karenfosters (dot) tumblr (at) gmail (dot) com) I'm really looking forward to opening the dialog, stripping it down and getting naked.

Mother's Day last year was pretty rough.  It was super close to the one year anniversary of The Boy leaving and it seemed like there were reminders everywhere and the days leading up to it were tear-filled.  I even ended up missing out on celebrating Mother's Day with my own mom and BBS because I just couldn't put on a happy face and didn't want to be a mess in front of the monkeys.  This year things are different.  No, I'm not a mother.  I never will be.  But I'm starting to come to terms with that.  I've known for a long time that the odds of me ever having my own children were slim to none but when The Boy called me Mommy my heart melted and I thought maybe I didn't need to give birth to be someone's mommy.  Then reality hit and I realized fostering is even tougher than I'd expected and I knew I needed someone in it with me.  Time passed and I realized that as I got older, the odds of finding someone who wanted to foster and/or adopt grew less and less.  Let's face it, by the time a guy is my age, he either has kids or don't want kids.  I think that's part of the reason why Mother's Day was so hard last year.  I realized the my only chance at being called Mommy had left me nearly a year before. 

So why do I think this year will be easier?  Well, for one thing, we celebrated Mother's Day a day early this year.  I know that doesn't seem much different, but the day of will always be the hardest, and tomorrow I'll be at work, training my new guy and keeping my mind busy with pools and customers instead of lost chances.  But more importantly, I have an incredible man and three beautiful little girls in my life.  And while I will never be their mommy (nor will I ever try to be), I get to be their step mommy, and I'm learning that that just might be enough.