The butt of every joke

Man: "Your damn dog is licking himself again."

Me: "He's anxious!  That's how he expresses himself."

Man: "He's like an alcoholic, but with licking his crotch."

Me: "Is there such a thing as crotch lickers anonymous?"

I'm pretty sure the animals intentionally wait until we've run the vacuum to drop these nice hair balls.

Warning: Grumpy Karen ahead

I'm having a day.  I promise Happy Karen will be back tomorrow, but today you're getting Grumpy Karen.  Deal with it.  I'm tired, I'm working someone else's store and it's dirty and unorganized and I'm tired.  Or did I say that one already?  I'm not sure, I'm tired.  In the past 12 days I've had 1 day off (the vast majority of which I spent on the road to visit The Girl and at a meeting for The Arc) and worked 83 hours, not counting the 10+ hours I will have worked by the end of the day today and the 12ish hours I'll work tomorrow.  Oh, and I'm working all weekend.  So please forgive me if I'm a little tired.  And grumpy.

So here it is: I just can't understand how some people can be so incredibly stupid and still have the confidence to speak.  I don't know how many times today I just wanted to throttle someone just for opening their mouth.  Thankfully I'm a professional, and I maintained what my employees call my "customer voice" but on the inside I was screaming "SHUT UP!!!"  I am beyond ready for this day to be over so I can go home, get a hug from Man and crash.  Who's going to bring me a beer?!

I had big plans to write this long post to wrap up some of the stuff that's been going on this past week with Man starting his new job, Wolfey being sick (we found out the poopy accidents weren't from the brownie but a bacterial infection in his GI tract), stuff with The Girl and our girls being with us this past weekend but when went looking for posts to link back to I realized the last 3 posts I wrote aren't here.  I'm beyond frustrated with this darn blog, completely exhausted and just a bit irritable so rather than go on and on about my technology terrors, I'm just going to say that even with as much as I've had go wrong lately, life is really good.  I have a steady income and the opportunity to earn some overtime the past few weeks, a comfortable roof over my head, food in my belly and some awesome friends and family.  In times like this, it's really easy to focus on the negative and how strung out I am (from lack of sleep, not from drugs, though at this point maybe they'd keep me going!) but I'm choosing to see how lucky I am.  I wish all my readers a happy Wednesday, a beautiful Spring and a sunny outlook!

Happy Father's Day

The girls and I woke up early (or earlier than Man, anyway!) and made blackberry, raspberry and blueberry crisp, as well as bacon and eggs.  Man woke up just as things were wrapping up and we had an awesome breakfast together as a family before I had to leave for work.  There's absolutely nothing like spoiling your man with homemade breakfast and spoiling the kids with dessert for breakfast!  Bonus: the girls thought they were getting some awesome treat, when really it was a sneaky way to get some different fruits into them!  On the way to work, I stopped by my parents' house and surprised my dad with a second berry crisp.  I'm so lucky to have such amazing fathers in my life!  Thank you both, and Happy Father's Day!

I would be remiss not to mention that there are undoubtedly some guys out there who would love to be celebrating Father's Day with their little someone specials but are unable.  Whatever the reason you are childless or without your child, know that you are not alone.  Happy Father's Day, Happy Not-a-Father's Day, or just happy day.  I celebrate with you, I grieve with you and, perhaps most importantly, I understand.

Progress

I had my first skinny massage last night and had the best night's sleep I've had in ages.  I don't know if it was the "skinny" or the "massage" but either way I'll be doing that again!  I feel so rested and clear.  Between the detoxifying greens and the amazing sleep last night, I'm feeling way more with-it than I have in a long time.  This is going to be the easiest way to get healthy and fit I've ever tried!

I think we've got some sleepy puppies. Wolfey went to the vet today and is now on antibiotics and seems to be feeling better. I hope this continues!

Puppy risotto

Wolfey still has some icky tummy going on so its rice with just enough meat to get him to eat it for my poor pup tonight. I sure hope he feels better in the morning!

Damn dogs

And this morning Man woke me up around 5am to tell me one of the dogs had just thrown up. I put them outside (and if course couldn't put them on the tie out since Man mowed yesterday and forgot to hook it back up) and got to cleaning. Since I had to wait for the dogs to come back anyway I changed over the laundry. The dogs finally came back but I couldn't get back to sleep. Man says they're conspiring against me but I think they're just trying to help new use my time in a more productive way. It could be the lack of sleep talking.

Apparently it's all Man's fault.

Yesterday Man called to tell me he received confirmation that he'll be starting his new job on Monday; we decided to go out to our favorite local restaurant to celebrate.  We were both so excited that when I arrived home from work we both changed and immediately walked back out the door.  When we got home, we opened the front door to let the dogs out and took them for a walk without even going in the house.  On our walk, we stopped by the post office to get our mail and my It Works! kit was there, so we went straight home for me to dig in to my goodies.  Once again, I was so excited I didn't pay any attention to anything else, but spent a while going through things while Man fed the dogs their dinner, then we each showered and headed to bed.  Several times during the night Wolfey woke us up whining.  This is really out of character for him, but I was so exhausted I just yelled at him to go back to bed.  Finally, around 4am I woke up and took him outside and things settled down for a while, but he was back at it at 6:00.  When I finally got up around 7:30 (I overslept from having my sleep interrupted so many times), I found 2 poopy accidents in the bathroom.  Poor baby was trying to tell me he had icky tummy but I was too wrapped up in my own stuff to understand what he needed.  I woke Man to help me get ready for work and of course he was grumpy that Wolfey had pottied in the house, but I reminded him that Wolfey tried to let us know but he couldn't let himself out to go.  Thankfully Man got up and helped and he reports that Wolfey has been better all day, but I felt so horribly guilty.  It really makes you think twice when a seemingly uneventful decision puts into motion so many other events.  If Man hadn't called to tell me about his job I wouldn't have suggested we celebrate.  If we hadn't gone to celebrate, I would have unpacked my bag as soon as I got home from work.  If I had unpacked my bag, the dogs wouldn't have gotten my lunch leftovers (including a pretty good sized brownie). If the dogs hadn't gotten my brownie Wolfey wouldn't have ended up sick.  The secondary chain of events is if  we hadn't gone for the walk we wouldn't have gotten my It Works! stuff.  If we hadn't gotten that package I would have paid more attention when we got home and seen the brownie packaging in the living room.  If I'd seen the packaging I would have anticipated some icky tummies.  If I had known to be on the lookout I would have gotten up the first time Wolfey woke me and not only would everyone have gotten a better night's sleep, but I wouldn't have had such a mess to clean up this morning.  I guess the moral of the story is, never celebrate Man's accomplishments.  I'm so glad to have figured that out.  He's going to be so happy!  Maybe we should celebrate...

Reality check

I was really having one of those days this morning.  I overslept, which sent everything tumbling all wonky.  I took a shower and realized was out of my favorite conditioner so I used the other stuff and now my hair is all heavy and weighed down.  I tripped over Wolfey getting ready for work and he looked at me like I'd beaten him, which was just about enough to send me to tears (especially since I'm PMSing).  BBS called and as much as I wanted to talk to her I had to rush her off the phone since I was running late.  I packed my lunch for work and couldn't find anything I needed, so I made a huge mess of the kitchen I just cleaned last night.  Finally, when I realized I was 15 minutes late leaving for work and didn't even have my shoes on yet, I woke Man out of his hibernation (and boy, can he be a bear!) to clean up after me.  I sped as much as I could but was still more than 10 minutes late to work.  Thankfully I always build in a cushion so I can get the store ready without having to rush, so I wasn't late opening my store, but I was definitely running around like a chicken with my head cut off.  It was really looking like it was going to be one of those awful days where absolutely nothing goes right.

And then I got my first customer.  He was a tall, thin, elderly gentleman who needed some help finding something that was right in front of him.  I put on my usual "friendly neighborhood pool supply lady" smile and went about my job, helping him find everything he needed and requesting that he pull up to the curb so I could load the heavy items in his car and he headed out the door.  My next customer, a young woman with a little boy, came in and was very friendly but pretty self sufficient so I told her to let me know if she needed anything but that I was going to stay near the front of the store so that I could see when the elderly gentleman pulled up.  I waited.  And waited.  And waited a little longer.  Finally I started scanning the parking lot to look for him, hoping he hadn't left without his purchases; I saw him standing in the middle of the parking lot with a completely bewildered look on his face.  I told the woman who was in the store what was going on and she offered to go out and help the man, but I was worried that if he was completely confused, having a stranger approach him might scare him, so she then offered to stay in the store while I helped the man.  We finally found his car (it was on the complete opposite side of the parking lot from where he thought it was), got him all loaded up and on his way and I returned to my store to ring out the lady who was watching the store for me.  The first thing she said when I walked in the door was, "I hope he's okay.  If he's that confused, I wonder if he's safe to drive."  Talk about restoring your faith in humanity!

I overslept, but it was because I have a comfortable, safe place in which to lay my head.  I didn't have the conditioner I like, but I had a hot shower and enough resources to have alternative conditioner on hand.  I tripped over my dog, but it's because he wants to be near me.  I rushed BBS off the phone, but she loves me enough to call me even at a time when she knows she may be rushed.  I had troubles packing my lunch, but I have food to pack.  Man was a little grumpy with me about being woken up, but he loves me enough to do it anyway.  I was late to work, but I have a job and enough job security to know that being late one time isn't going to get me fired.  It was such an awesome realization when it occurred to me that this woman had put her errands on hold, volunteered to help a man she'd never spoken to and taken complete responsibility for a store about which she knew nothing and her only concern was for the health and safety for a man she would never meet, and it really put my entire day into perspective.  I am truly thankful that I not only have these wonderful things, but to have these awesome experiences that help me appreciate how lucky I really am.

Now I've done it

All my favorite bloggers (fosterhood, the bloggess, etc.) are on twitter.  I've resisted, because (despite my incessant blogging) I find most social media to be a huge time suck, but at the same time, I've also kind of wanted to see what it's all about.  More out of morbid curiosity than actually wanting to be involved or follow anyone.  But with my new business venture and more opportunities coming down the road (don't worry, I'll keep you posted!) I'm seeing it more as a necessity to connect with my customers rather than a waste of time.  So I'm trying it.  Come check me out!

I'm a lucky girl

My parents recently bought a swim spa and absolutely love the tub but have no clue how to take care of it. Mom called me yesterday asking for help so I picked up some chemicals and a test kit at work and headed to their house this evening. Long story short they had some real issues and I ended up spending a couple hours there. I had told Man I would be home for dinner and finally at 8:30 he text me asking if I was on my way home yet. Since its a half hour drive home I knew I wasn't going to be home at a reasonable time. Thankfully Man knows me well enough to know that when I'm with my mom or BBS I'm never going to be home at a reasonable time! I'm so lucky to have a family I really love to spend tine with and a Man who understands that!

All my favorite boys playing corn hole together

Family party today. Not all men are good with kids. Not all Dads are good with kids other than their own. Somehow I got lucky enough to find a man who us not only a wonderful father but also amazing with my nieces and nephews!

Please note Doll Baby's hilarious get up with his underwear hanging out of his pants. I wish I could show you the previous picture with his pants up under his armpits but it shows his face. He told me he was a hobo. Not sure where he even learned that word but it was pretty funny!

I want.

Have you heard of the NapTV?  This thing is a stool you can sit on, but on the under side there's a TV, so you can lay it on its side to lay on your side or belly to watch TV or you can stand it up over your head so you can lay flat on your back to watch your favorite show.  I think the idea is that it helps drown out the outside noise so you can just get to sleep, but in my opinion, it's scary and a sad commentary on how lazy we are.  And I need one.  I mean, seriously, how many times do I fall asleep on the couch watching a show only to go to bed and be wide awake?  If I could take my show to bed with me, once I fell asleep Man could just put the NapTV on the floor and I'd never know the difference!  I know what you're thinking, "Karen, why not just watch a show on the TV in your bedroom?" but then you have to sit up and when you fall asleep you're all scrunchy or you lay down to watch it and then you get a crick in your neck from trying to angle your head enough to lay down but still see the TV, it's really a pain.  Ahh, first world problems.  If only I were lazy enough to think it was actually worth it!

Naked blogging: It Works! edition

My weight has always been a struggle for me.  Growing up with a sister who was a stick because she took after our mom's side of the family while I was "curvy" (which is just a nice way of saying I've always been a big girl) because I took after our dad's side of the family was always tough, but I really need to stop using that as an excuse to be overweight.  Now is the time and It Works! is the tool.  Check out the rest of the story on my It Works! website.

Lots of rambling, but it's worth it. Just wait for me to get to the point!

Last night Man and I were driving home from a jam packed day together.  We did some housework in the morning, then went to my cousin's house for Man to get a massage (don't worry, he's not just having random people rub him, my cousin is a licensed massage therapist) and for me to sign up to be an It Works! distributor.  By the way, if you haven't heard about this crazy wrap thing, you definitely need to check it out!  I'll post info and links to my website soon!  Anyway, from there we went to visit my grandpa in the nursing home.  I know I haven't given an update in a while, but it's because not much has changed.  He's doing better than he was when he was in the hospital but still not great.  He looks a lot better but is still weak and isn't all there mentally.  They're saying he may not ever recover further than he has, but we're holding out hope.  Okay, where was I?  Oh, yeah... so then we ran some errands and went to dinner.  It wasn't the most exciting day, but it was productive and enjoyable and it was really great to spend the entire day together.  So on the way home, we were talking and laughing and just generally enjoying ourselves.  I got to thinking how sad it is that no one else gets to see the hilarity that is our intimate relationship.  Man brings out a side of me I've never known before and I absolutely love it!  I can truly let go and be fun, silly and spontaneous with him in a way I can't with anyone else.  Even Bestie, who I've known since college, or BBS, who (obviously) I've known my entire life can't get me to relax the way Man can.  I guess what I'm trying to say is that I truly hope that everyone has a Man in their life, because I know that I am so lucky to love this Man!

It Works!

I just joined an It Works! team! I can't wait to start wrapping and changing people's lives! More info to come soon!

I promise I haven't fallen off the face of the earth, I'm just having issues with my smarter-than-me phone and have been too busy to sit down at a computer. I promise I'll be back soon but for now I'm phoning it in with this picture of our adorable girls on our family outing to the zoo the other day.